my sunshine

Forever, imperfect .
Caffeinated Bliss

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

if my heart stop beating, will this feeling finally come to an end? how do i even start convincing my heart.

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Monday, September 24, 2012

I hate that I miss you.

when I have no business to.

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Monday, September 03, 2012

In another life, I would be your girl.

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

虚幻。

直到牵着你的手。真实，温暖，熟悉。

我的心，只能属于你。

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现在的我，真的很满足。满满，满满的幸福。但我害怕了。害怕有一天醒来，发现这幸福溜走了。

If I'm living in a bubble, please let it not be you who breaks it.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Someday, one day, I'll call you mine.

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Friday, August 17, 2012

有些感动，暗藏心里，最甜蜜。

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Friday, July 27, 2012

前世的五百次回眸，换来今生的擦肩而过。

还蛮喜欢这句话。也许因为它不是歇斯底里，而是带着淡淡的凄美吧。

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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Marking a new phase in my life.

I'm absolutely terrified. Does everyone feel the same way?

I'm not proud to say that I am the kind of person to stay in my comfort zone. And if given choices (and circumstances allow me to), I'll almost immediately go for the one that I'm not intimidated by.

Today, I realized my coping mechanism for my different moods:
• I clean when anxiety kicks in - takes my mind of the issue that triggered it
• I concentrate a lot on my food when I'm in an awkward gathering, and will continue putting food in my mouth as long as there's food around
• I sleep if I'm emotionally depressed.
• I play the piano if I feel like being alone - mostly because the piano is tucked in a small corner of the house
• I watch shows/dramas/varieties to run away from reality

My pill for happiness, hanging out with that few groups of dearest friends.

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Friday, May 11, 2012

progress in studying is...... manageable...... I find it easier to study for the subject that I am more interested in. I find that I understand the topics, discussions, theories better. Or maybe its because the theories are easier to understand that I find it easier to study and thus more enjoyable? Have no idea but eternal goodbye social psychology and any related psychology subjects after this paper. You are a pain to my brain.

And in another news, tuesday is fast approaching and I'm excited and very very terrified. Its so hard to study with this constantly hanging at the back of my mind. Doesn't help that selection is at 630pm and I have a paper the next day.

oh GYM, please please look over the unit that we are aiming and leave it just for us.

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Thursday, May 03, 2012

Driving myself crazy from the lack of time due to the endless dragging of 'studying' till the last 2 weeks before my first paper, when supposedly I would have ample time if i started say, 1 month ago. My very very very bad habit of always thinking "there's still time, I'll start tomorrow" has been stuck with me for the past 2 years. Every time after the previous exam, I would tell myself that I'll not do this again for the next semester. But I do the same thing time and again and now its the last exam of my student life, and I'm still doing it.

I do hate myself for that. Its such a horrible feeling but I wonder why I never learn.

"What you don't do today will never be done tomorrow"
That's a phrase I saw recently on twitter and it got me thinking of finally ditching my bad habits and attempt to revamp my whole lifestyle.

Ending blog post on a random note, and because wordy posts are boring, I shall insert a picture of my current obsession. His deep deep voice has an irresistible draw that even one of my sister (who is a non-kpop fan) is now a fan of him.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

read this article from the columns in this week's iweekly. something that I agree on.

2008年让英国人刻骨铭心。
为了拯救数家英国银行，英国人还被迫背负上更沉重的税务包袱。当年的工人党政府说，为了国家利益，必须如此。

于是，纳税人牺牲个人利益以换取大家的利益。然而，这个“大家”究竟是谁？

银行总裁投资失误被炒鱿鱼，吃的鱿鱼却是天价。天文数字的遣散费由纳税人负责；国营化后的银行动刀裁员以消减成本，还未摆脱亏损，却能气派地分派大肥花红给一小撮的银行家。

原来，“大家”就是这些少数人。把多数人的个人牺牲转移到少数人身上，变成了他们口袋里的利益。

私人企业所赚取的盈利归企业所有，亏损则由纳税人来填补。这就是让英国人反胃的将利润私有，亏损由公众买单。　

小岛国（我国）公共交通经营公司也属私人企业。纳税人掏腰包建设业务基础设施。包办了地铁站和铁路的成本外，原来还得帮忙添购交通工具。有一小撮人替大家决定，这是公众利益。替企业大省钱。

公众的小利益转换成业主私有的大盈利。

运作成本提高，利润缩水，供种牺牲，接受车资上涨。台北捷运却能做到10年不涨价的效率。

公众牺牲以填满一小撮人的口袋。私人企业牟利是天经地义的。也变成了公众义务。

赌场诞生，也为了国家利益。当铺，财务公司随之涌现。社工，警察，辅导员，医疗队也忙得团团转。赌场制造就业机会，社会付出的代价，总和起来成了业主的利润。

民主社会里，少数人替所有人决定国家利益。而国家的利益，却也许是变相的一小撮人的利益。

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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Virgin trip to Universal Studio, Singapore. Wanting to go one more time for the new Transformers Ride, but ticket is too too expensive. =(

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Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Babies have the purest eyes, you smile when they smile because you know their smile are real.

Sneak shot of a baby while waiting for the ferry at the Batam ferry terminal.

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Monday, March 05, 2012

taken @ cchsm lake.

this fish got so close to the edge of the lake that I was able to capture a picture of it. if you can see the tree branches in the water, that's how shallow the water is at the side so the fish was really close.

Till the next. =)

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Friday, March 02, 2012

Found a blogskin that I like. Took me awhile to edit small parts of the HTML to get what I want. I wished I knew HTML codes at times like this.

And as for point 2 of my previous 2012 resolutions, the 2 months start as of today.

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Thursday, March 01, 2012

Learnt to do some minor adjustment to the photos i took with the DSLR and i'm kinda hooked onto it. I've always been lazy to head out under the sun to take pictures, but i'm much more motivated to do so now for more photos to edit. Hopefully, i can post up one photo a day, but that's kinda too much to ask for. So shall just pace it with the amount of photos that I have on hand.

Shall start off with the favourite photo of my secondary school out of the batch:

This was taken near sunset. I love taking the lake, the main 'attraction' of my old school. Plus the reflection of the building on the lake is just beautiful.

The picture is still kinda small because of the width limitation of my blog layout. I very much love my current blogskin, simple blue background with the tulips above. But for the sake of the photos, I shall attempt to search for a new one that I might come to love. But that will be for another day. Heading out now so in the meantime, enjoy!

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Wednesday, February 01, 2012

2012 resolutions

1. Find a job before thy 24th birthday.

2. Lose at least 8kg in 2 months.

3. Clean my room, makeup brushes, and hand wash 'must hand wash' clothes - weekly, diligently.

4. Read more.

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Saturday, November 26, 2011

After " A Song of Fire and Ice ",

Animal Farm

Emma

Freakonomics

Gone with the Wind

Invisible Man

Jane Eyre

Lolita

Lord of the Flies

The 7 Habits of of Highly Effective People

The Art of War

The God Delusion

The Portrait of a Lady

The Tipping Point

To Kill a Mockingbird

War and Peace

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Monday, October 31, 2011

this morning, my grandma took her bedsheets down to wash, and

"didn't I tell you that I washed your bed linen just one week ago?"

that is what my mom told my grandma, exact tone in hokkien.

It has always been like that - her criticizing grandma for something (cooking wise or housework or planting), and I get pissed at her for being so rude to grandma and I will proceed to voice my unhappiness loudly and i admit, in a i-dont-respect you tone. She'll then scream at me for being rude to her and I 'retaliate' by saying that's what she is showing me by her talking like that to grandma. and then after the fight I realize I'm also being disrespectful by shouting at her.

and its a vicious cycle. it just keeps happening month after month.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

i miss this space.

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Monday, July 04, 2011

原来没有坚不可摧。

相信的永远，是海市蜃楼。

难道我们之间的一切，不能承担彼此的意见？

错的事，以为我们能肝胆相照。

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Friday, July 01, 2011

had a great few weeks hanging out with all of my darlings, just eating and slacking.

need to find a job soon. =( major draggy bout it all the way since the start of June. i know i cant postpone the inevitable, but...........

y oh y oh y.

bu xiang zhang da.

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Friday, June 03, 2011

LOOKING FORWARD TO (MOVIES) :

X-Men: the origins.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

cant wait cant wait cant wait for X-Men next week!! i have no idea why i'm super excited for X-men; must be the mutated abilities they all have.

but other than that, i'll still be watching every other movie released. =x

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Monday, May 30, 2011

my tumblr makes me happy.

with colours and sweetness. <3

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迷惑.

抽离.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

这感觉很熟悉

似曾相识

愿结局不一样

只因为你比他更值得我珍惜

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Monday, May 16, 2011

its so hard verbalizing this thought out.

i believe besides a parent's love, all other loves are reciprocal.

there are ppl who meet, only during certain occasions. and the closest of friends do NOT do that.

a close friend of mine once told me that if i really treat someone as my dearest friend, every rejection should not prevent me from asking her out the next time. i had been sticking to that for the past 2 years, but enough might finally be enough.

if for every 10 rejections, you would make the effort to try organize one, i might not feel this way now. really touch your heart and tell me you did just that.

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Monday, May 09, 2011

“If I have to shoot 200,000 students to save China from another 100 years of disorder, so be it.” - Lee Kuan Yew evoking the ghost of Deng Xiaoping whilst

endorsing theTiananmen Square massacre, Straits Times, Aug 17, 2004

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Tuesday, May 03, 2011

watched the first few mins of SPP's CST's speech and i closed the window, because i felt so much like crying. how frail he looked, and it pains my heart.

i hate:

how politics are unfair (ruling party prejudicing against opposition wards and not giving non-PAP MPs a decent place to hold their weekly mps, and so much more)

and how ungracious/less compassionate singaporeans are becoming because everyone seems to be more materialistic as the economy booms.

and how i am actually guilty of it.

i cant cant cant continue watching oppositions' rallies anymore, because i feel for the issues raised and i know for sure that nothing is going to change after this election. all the hypes wont translate into votes and we will still be sucking whatever the ruling party throws at us for the next 30years.

i'm living, i have to take it. but no way will i bring a new life to face this.

i made a choice long ago about my vote, but now i feel like being an irrational voter - vote opposing for the sake of opposing, even though i'm one insignificant voter out of 2.2million.

will stop caring about the rallies and all rational political debates online and just vote with my heart on may 7.

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Saturday, April 30, 2011

here i am happily saying, "i'll GLADLY take the $$ and still not vote for you".

thanks for the reimbursement of the GST/inflation i paid for the past 5 years.

will welcome it in another 5 years time after the next round of GST increase. yum senggggg!

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http://www.straitstimes.com/GeneralElection/News/Story/STIStory_662848.html

specifically at the aljunied GRC.

‎"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." - Yoda

--------------------------------------------------

if i'm under bukit-timah - holland grc, i will vote for SDP because i believe in vincent wijeysingha.

if i'm under aljunied grc, i'll make sure i cross very very carefully beside the hammer logo, because i believe in low and lim.

if i'm under any grc/smc that the WP is contesting, i'll vote for them because i believe in their cause for the people.

but the sad truth is that i'm not under any of these constitutions.

i do not agree with the opposition at my area; the last sentence in my previous post still stands, so yeah what i'm voting is pretty obvious.

am i disagreeing that the current govt is not doing well? nope. in fact they are doing very well for singapore economically.

why i support the WP so much is that they are not not not not not attempting to takeover from the current govt, but believe in changing/ making a better parliament with more alternative voices. i have no doubts that the WP do not oppose EVERYTHING the pap comes up with in parliament, if its good for the country AND the PEOPLE, they will not oppose for the sake of opposing.

and hence for the next one week, i'm wearing blue (or red for vincent) and keeping my nails the colour of the WP.

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Thursday, April 28, 2011

thank you mr garment, for breaking down 'affordability' of HDB flats in yesterday's straits time.

$36 per month cash outlay for monthly installments. WAH! really affordable leh! teeny peeny sum of money out of HH income of $4600, because the rest can be fork out using our monthly CPF contribution - FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS. assuming we get out flats when we are 28, 30 years we will be 58. THANKS HOR! reaching retirement liao and our CPF got NOTHING for retirement because for the past 30 years contribution we took it to pay the monthly installments.

YAY! finally after 30 years we cleared our HDB loan!! can retire liao! and live on what? eat grass lor! not enough money to buy grass ah? hawker centre hiring elderly to clean tables leh!!

how about the rest of your monthly household income, you may ask?

mr garment, you forgot that we still need to pay for transport, groceries, food and PUB bills ah?and hor, need to take care of our parents leh cause they not working liao. then hor, still got min protection insurance we need to buy leh, like life/health/home insurance. (n i never include that i wish to own a car you know, just a cheaper car like toyata i happy liao, no need like you all BMW/merz leh!) like that where got extra to save in our bank (which might as well be paying zero interest) to save for retirement.

eh you got discuss this with your fellow comrades in the garment not, neh the one who wants singaporean to increase fertility? no one so stupid leh! no money for my retirement liao you think i got money to have a kid in SINGAPORE ah! baby haven poop out jiu got so many fees to pay liao (you think v cheap ah!). then baby come out liao who take care? dont work where money to buy diapers and milk powder (not cheap also hor) for the baby? work liao who care for the baby?

of course all these doesnt bother you, you have ur million dollar salary to fall back on, but please take a look at the 'common' people, and not the higher tiered singaporeans whom your salaries are tied to. most work to their death and wont be able to even hit half of your salary, and their salary increment (emphasis: THEIRS, not yours hor you got 60%??!!!! increment leh!) can NEVER catch up with the increase in cost of living.

even if all votes are being tracked, it wont deter me from not voting for the ahgong's party.

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