that is what my mom told my grandma, exact tone in hokkien.

It has always been like that - her criticizing grandma for something (cooking wise or housework or planting), and I get pissed at her for being so rude to grandma and I will proceed to voice my unhappiness loudly and i admit, in a i-dont-respect you tone. She'll then scream at me for being rude to her and I 'retaliate' by saying that's what she is showing me by her talking like that to grandma. and then after the fight I realize I'm also being disrespectful by shouting at her.

and its a vicious cycle. it just keeps happening month after month.